I still hear '
my laptop dies after five minutes' quite often, but even more I'm getting 'my computer is slow'.
My computer is slow.
Nah.
Computers don't get slow. That's the beauty of electronics. They don't wear out. And they only die because of failed mechanical components (fans, hard drives).
Well then why does it take five minutes for Word to start up?
Simply? Because
Windows has become bloated and slow.
Der! That's what I meant by 'my computer is slow'.
Yeah but it costs you
$800 to replace your computer, it costs you
$0 to replace Windows. That sleeve of ten discs that came with your computer is pure gold.
What, like replace XP with Vista?
Oh hell no. There's a huge
difference between Windows on those discs and Windows on your computer. Windows on those discs is pure as snow, Windows on your computer has for several years managed your documents, photos, spyware, music, internet settings, installed applications, etc.
Okay so I want to replace the dirty old Windows on my computer with the pure Windows on the discs. How?
- Burn all your important stuff onto cd/dvd - a very good habit to get into anyway.
- Pop the system discs that came with your computer in.
- Follow all the instructions for doing a reinstall.
Or just ask someone.
But technology changes so fast, isn't my computer out of date anyway?
Maybe five years after it was built. No sooner. Think of how fast everything was when you just bought the computer. Well the computer is still the same, the copy of Windows on the cd is still the same, the only thing different is that ugly copy of Windows on your computer.
Okay so the cd copy of Windows hasn't changed in two years, but what about Winamp, Excel, and Firefox?
They'd lose a lot of customers if their applications required cutting edge technology.
How often do I have to do this reinstall thing?
Less often than you have to change your oil. There are many factors that accellerate or inhibit Windows' demise:
- How many apps you've installed.
- Any heavyweight programs like antivirus software or something made by Real.
- Spyware/viruses.
- If it's a laptop.
- Windows features like automatic backups and file indexing.I keep my computer squeaky clean, but every 12 months or so Windows just starts sucking. You know, when you click on 'Start' and have to wait a measurable time for the menu to pop up.
Why would Microsoft do this? Doesn't it hurt their business?
Explanation 1: Their programmers just aren't very good.
Explanation 2: It's a great business model. Joe Consumer's 'computer gets slow' so he buys a new one. Clearly he is not faulting Microsoft because he's going to Dell or IBM for the replacement. And with that replacement comes another copy of Windows.
Cha-ching.
Is it bad that I didn't know this?
Nope. I know quite a few programmers and computer science professors who buy new computers on a regular basis for this very reason. I dread the day I have to ask IT at my company for a reinstall disc.
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