Storypost | 2007.09.24

Had some redneck fun for Bret's quarter century. Then we took him over to the Miramar kart track for some shake 'n' bake action. Apparently the Forza paid off, because Ty topped the newbies with a 35.071 best lap. The birthday boy showed he can drive sub-3 ton vehicles finishing with a 35.485 lap, in spite of - as I am told - plowing the barrier inside the back straight. Ryan clocked a 36.262 and Kevin recovered from a lap 10 collapse, rounding the course in 36.733. Courtney finished with a very respectable 37.844 and Cheryl showed us that it doesn't matter how fast you go (48.341) so long as you look good doing it (10.0).

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Without further ado, here is my tried-and-true (emphasis on the 'tried') instructional entitled:

How to pass on the 4/5 chicane of Miramar Speed Circuit:

A. Keep close and wait for him to make a mistake.
B. He'll feel the pressure and run wide.
C. Stay on your line. If he slows to let you through you'll come out of turn 5 on to the back straight with a huge advantage (not pictured). If he tries to close the door give him a nudge, all his traction will be on the front tires that are turning and braking.
D. Continue to steer towards his anterior until you have passed him, now get back on your line.
E. Give the track personnel an innocent look and continue knowing that the dude now in the wall just handed you your slowest lap. It may be some consolation that it's also his slowest lap.

And we put hydros on Ty's truck. Not really.

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