Gallerypost | 2022.12.05

Elden Ring ending Blaidd mask

It's over, it's done. Here's how the last dozen hours of Elden Ring went.

Melina go brrrn

Elden Ring burning erdtree

Continuing from last time, Melina torched the erdtree, showering everything in embers.

Crumbling Farum Azula

Elden Ring Maliketh

The next stop was Crumbling Farum Azula, where Maliketh guarded the only path to the ashen capitol.

Elden Ring soldiers tree burning Elden Ring Crumbling Farum Azula dragons tornados Elden Ring Crumbling Farum Azula road near boss

Down the rabbit hole

Elden Ring meme fight post video ass beat bruh

We had a go at the pre-pre-final boss and quickly realized we needed to do some homework. I also needed to pick a lot more flowers (ingredients required for the thing that summons allies).

Elden Ring blood lake Stormhawk Deenh summon

The first stop was a lake of blood for the +2 Haligdrake Talisman, since the final bosses do a lot of holy damage. Then things went a bit off the rails.

I was picking erdleaf flowers and wound up fetching some eyeballs for a local villager to eat. Her grocery list (mostly eyes) led me to a neat secret passageway in a cathedral. The cathedral's subterranean catacombs, called Frenzied Flame Proscription, ended up being a frustrating jumping puzzle. Each time I fell, I gained greater resolve to beat the dumb thing. I'd like to say I learned the nuances of walking of ledges, rolling off them, and jumping off them, but it'd likely take me at least a dozen tries to make the journey again.

Isn't Ranni's quest the longest in the game? How come more people achieved that ending than the Elden Lord one which can be reached in 4 different ways?
Because Lord of Frenzied Flame jumping puzzle is upsetting

At the bottom was Hyetta, the villager. I might have ordinarily balked at her instruction to "disrobe and go through that door over there", but there was absolutely nothing else to show for that full hour of falling to my death.

Elden Ring Three Fingers door Elden Ring Three Fingers door Elden Ring Three Fingers opening door Elden Ring Three fingers glowing finger Elden Ring Three Fingers Elden Ring Three Fingers hug

Behind the door was a giant fire hand who became my character's new boss.

Elden Ring Three Fingers burning eyes Hyetta


Climbing out of the rabbit hole

Whitebrown22 Whitebrown22 The dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed

Elden Ring Malenia Goddess of Rot butterflies

Cleansing the frenzied flame required the following:
  1. Complete the Millicent quest. This started with some stuff I'd already cleared - Caelid, Commander O'Neil, Windmill Village. But I probably could not have soloed the penultimate battle against an Ulcerated Tree Spirit were it not for a nice range attack cheese spot.
  2. Take Millicent's Needle to the aeonium left by Malenia, the hardest boss in the game. The one that Let Me Solo Her made his name fighting.
  3. Use the needle in the arena of Placidusax. Luckily you don't actually need to aggro him.
Elden Ring Placidusax dragon hydra

Elden Ring ashen capitol gates burning erdtree Elden Ring Great Wyrm Theodorix Elden Ring Dragonlord Placidusax boss fight Elden Ring Malenia Goddess of Rot scarlet aeonium


Elden Ring despair Athena coop

The annoying co-op lockout mechanic (beat area boss, no more multiplayer) meant that I had to run a lot of it solo. I managed with some difficulty, though Malenia can't be soloed at my skill level. Even with J on board, for some especially difficult bosses we summoned another player to help out. And so we fought side by side with Thelma Smash, Ranni Enjoyer, and The Toilet.

Elden Ring coop community Ranni Enjoyer Elden Ring coop community The Toilet Elden Ring cooperator community ThelmaSmash

Wanting to give back to the Elden Ring community and maybe also farm rune arcs, I put down my summon sign once or twice.

Elden Ring Crumbling Farum Azula dragon Coolhand37 paetta

Hoarah Loux & Radagon & The Elden Beast (boss spoilers)

Elden Ring burning erdtree Hoarah Loux boss door

The endgame consists of a chump boss followed by three chad bosses. They're largely immune to statuses and resist elements, invalidating a lot of builds. I farmed some runes and leveled a Godskin Peeler since my katanas and claws weren't going to cut it.

Elden Ring Hoarah Loux battle
Hoarah Loux. He wasn't easy, but learning to roll (I know they say jump) his AoEs was the key.

Elden Ring Radagon Spellsword
Radagon. This dude has some cheap attacks, like he'll blink and stealth attack someone while doing an AoE around himself. Sometimes we cleared him quickly, sometimes he destroyed us.

Elden Ring final boss Elden Beast Spellsword
The Elden Beast. Kind of like a dragon, you just have to stay close except for his one or two AoE moves.

Elden Ring ashen capitol dragon burning tree Elden Ring ashen capitol tower Elden Ring burning erdtree Hoarah Loux arena godskin peeler Elden Ring remembrance elden beast

The Elden Lord (finale spoilers)

Elden Ring star ending Ranni

I tried to play this game by only looking up faqs reactively (see also: walking into the final bosses with a bleed and poison build). So when the final sequence left me with a statue and a blue summon sign, I hit the summon sign.

i just do ranni quests aka what i call the omega simp ending

I guess I chose the Omega Simp ending. Curious, I looked up the others. The comments had a good summary:

So basically we have:
1) rule over a shitty destroyed wasteland
2) fix the shitty destroyed wasteland
3) apocalypse
4) apocalypse
5) super apocalypse
6) "figure it out yourselves, I'm going to space"

This x2. But, like, Mass Effect was all about story and dialogue. Elden Ring has a story comprised of snippets of dense lore, so six similar endings is more acceptable.
Elden Ring postscript

J sent me this:

While this video is extremely youtubey, I enjoyed it and a couple points hit home: target locking and other UI elements, the story, and how Souls loyalists are. I was surprised how she made no mention of invaders, the scourge of mine and J's playthrough.

Tiny Tinas Wonderlands Kastor the Normal Sized Skeleton

There are lots of (substantive) sidequests in Wonderlands. The Don Quixote one was pretty entertaining, as was the one where you have to fight a normal-sized skeleton. It's all pretty easy though. The quests scale to your level, but its still the equivalent of a Borderlands first playthrough.

thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands dragon lord intro thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands Vorcanar mechanical dragon thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands Tangledrift jump pad
thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands Tangledrift cathedral
thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands Dragon Lord battle reanimated wyvern thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands firecracker thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands Tangledift slide
thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands Butt Stallion sparkly end thumbnail Tiny Tinas Wonderlands castle encounter
Meta: new markup element

I have markup-to-html widgets for galleries of variable-size images and I have widgets for grids and vertical polyptychs of same-size images. This post led me to add a new markup element called 'sequence'. You specify the image height and list of files with optional alt text. It scales the image to 4/3rd the desired height, then uses the thumbnail center to crop the image.

   elden_ring_ranni_enjoyer.jpg-Elden Ring coop community Ranni Enjoyer
   elden_ring_the_toilet.jpg-Elden Ring coop community The Toilet
   elden_ring_thelma_smash.jpg-Elden Ring coop community ThelmaSmash


New quest

Finishing Elden Ring - almost - and starting Tiny Tina's Wonderlands.


Trading the stroller out for a baby backpack. Retrofitting old posts to new markup. A couple Elden Ring dragons.

90s aesthetic

The indieweb and blogging with a couple of webring rabbit holes. RSS with source and a small Elden Ring gallery.