Storypost | 2015.11.02

Hex spells books Halloween decorations brewery

Halloween happened four times this year. So, four costumes.

Jabba the Hutt costume Star Wars Halloween

I happened upon an awesome Jabba the Hutt costume, it's a Star Wars year. The space slug went over very well at the Cooley party and the hosts were going as Luke and Leia.

Faith militant costume Halloween Game of Thrones

I wanted to do a GoT costume, but since I don't think Gurm licenses them, creativity was required. Well, not much. A robe, some chains, a marker, and bam, you're a Faith Militant. I wanted to keep it Season 5 and iconic-looking, the other option was a Son of the Harpy, but the mask would not have been easy.

Chewbacca hoodie Halloween costume Star Wars

For Halloween itself, I hung out at Draft Republic with Dave and Marcia. Foosball, shuffle ball, Marcia spraying ketchup everywhere. Since we were staying mellow, I just went with a Chewbacca hoodie. Dave borrowed my shark victim costume and received a few complements.

Weimaraner vampire costume Halloween

The fourth costume was for Howloween.
Garbage

The little bro thought the below LM note was worth visibility outside our four-team league of champions. Really it was just a subtle dig at the Chargers getting wrecked by the Raiders. Okay, maybe I would like to see this issue dealt with.

Futurama ball of garbage rocket

I want to believe that as Commissioner I have some editorial leeway, like how Roger Goodell has litigial discretion and Santos can assemble LM notes by pasting the first non-football google hit for each player name.

So it is important to talk about the aromatic taint of 2nd quarter garbage time. I'm looking at you, 34.7-point Andrew Luck, 50-point Ty Hilton, 28.8-point Danny Woodhead, 16.8-point Keenan Allen, -1-point Mike Scifres, 23.9-point Arian Foster, and 8-point DeAndre Hopkins. Yes, the Colts, the Chargers, and the Texans found themselves in unwinnable games well before the fans filed to the concourses for their midgame cuppa and chicken tenders.

These players were week seven frogs-turned-princesses owed completely to their teams' terribleness. It is against everything the Champions League stands for. This is not champion behavior, this is little brother behavior - benefiting from your own incompetence. I have half a mind to strike down all points gained in garbage time. If only it weren't so much work.

Somebody needs to tell ESPN to eliminate all points when your team is down by 21 and does not win (Jacksonville). In the mean time, shame on those managers that rode this gravy train, Jon, Ryan, Kevin, and Chris.

To the football.

JR lit it up with Garbage Foster, Garbage Luck, and Gurley as WRs are now irrelevant. He clearly didn't watch the latter half of last week's Pittsburgh game and benched Tony Brown. Kevin had a strong core performance, but made what looked to be the right call in benching a quiet Mike Evans and worthless Mark Ingram... who promptly put up huge games that could have made Kevin the top scorer.

Things looked great for your heroes early Sunday with the Rams defense putting up a 30+ performance, but then Brady and Gronk got some late points and Garbage Hilton ran around a defense that didn't care. It was proper garbage time going into Monday, though Palmer made it look respectable.
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