Me and J have almost covered the aboveground map, mostly working through Volcano Manor and the Leyndell.

Someone posted a meme on /r/Eldenring about invadees disconnecting rather than fight. This sums up our experience:

/u/Tbone259

More like you invade me and instead of facing me like a man, you refuse to fight me unless there are 6 other enemies attacking me.

Another commentor broke down the mechanics of it:

/u/-Player3-

The problem is two fold 1: No solo invasions. This means the entire invading que is pushed on too summoning players, forcing Invaders to build/play optimally for a more balanced fight. It also means Host Groups get constantly invaded becuase of the shortened invasion timer and lack of Hosts to match with. This combined with Invaders min/max optimized approach makes the Host quickly lose intrest in any sort of fair fight, resulting in over-leveled phantoms, guerilla style fights, and constant disconnects. 2: Damage is absurd, Ashes of War are busted, Status is dumb. Most weapons will kill in 3 hits, sometimes 2. This makes fights more prone to hit and run/poise trading which is boring and annoying, and is amplified when the Host doesn't have "Optimal" HP or DMG Resistance. Ashes of War further the issue, by adding relatively cheap, quick, high damage options. Mohg's Spear is rather boring and not versatile, but the AoW singlehandedly makes it a nightmare to play around. Giant Hunt and Thunderbolt add reach + damage while being quick and readily available for most weapons. Not too mention Corpse Piler, Transient Moonlight, Bloodhound's Step, etc. Bleed is broken, straight up. Rot invalidates Poison. Status can build through iframes. Sleep is difficult to proc, but is very annoying. Scaling for Status Infusions is too high for Bleed and Frost, while Poison is doa.

In J's words, "I just want a timer". Win or lose. None of this trying to bait the host into a bunch of NPCs.

/u/Cosen_Ganes

I agree. even though I think being invaded is annoying I did get invaded by some one called Bill Cosby and he'd just throw sleeping pots at me and kick the shit out of me while I was asleep. Getting clowned on by bill Cosby was the best interaction I had with an invader and nothings gonna change my mind

Wtf I love invaders now.